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I hate how I always go back to you.

Dear Irish, I don’t really know how to start this letter without my heart feeling heavy. Maybe because I know this can go two ways: either it fixes us or gradually continue the distance between us for good. But no matter the outcome, I just want to be honest, because our friendship deserves that kind of truth. I miss you. I miss the comfort of knowing that I can look across the room or the hallway and see my orange-loving, R&B girlie, stuffed toy hugger, photo maniac, cafe or bar hopping bestie. The girl whose words could turn any emotion into something meaningful, the one I spent Galentine’s with, and the person who gives life updates just because. You’ve been my homie in every sense of the word, in laughter or sadness, or those late-night breakdowns when school felt too much. I’m writing this because what happened between us has been heavy-hearted. When your partner raised his voice in our unit, it wasn’t just about “a guy yelling”, it was the shock, the concern, the noise that echoed beyond the walls and into something deeper. I felt scared for you, and honestly, I felt disrespected in our shared space. It wasn’t about controlling you or judging you — it was because I care. Because I know how much you’ve gone through, and how much you deserve peace. Maybe I reacted the wrong way. Maybe I could’ve handled it more calmly. But what I want you to understand is that my silence before was me trying to respect your space. And when it reached a point I couldn’t ignore, it was my instinct to step in to somehow protect you. Irish, I never wanted this rift between us. You’ve been one of the constants in my college life. The person who made living in a condo life bearable, who made tired days lighter, who reminded me that love for friendship could be as real and raw. We’ve seen each other through our highest and lowest, doing whatever makes us happy as well as tears at midnight. You’ve been a piece of my home in this chaotic journey. With this letter… It’s my way of saying I care. I’m still here. I may just not be quiet sometimes doing my own thing, but I’m also silently observing (that’s just the way I am). I choose to be quiet because we have our own lives. I want to fix us, if you’re willing to. Because losing this friendship over something we can talk about feels wrong. I’ve been waiting for an approach, but since it hasn’t happened, this is my way of reaching out. Maybe this letter is the first step not to reopen old wounds, but to finally heal them. I’m choosing to lower my pride by writing this, and I hope you can, too. We’ve been through so much together to just let silence and distance decide the ending for us. Still, I know it’s up to you how you’ll take this letter. It’s up to you if this friendship is still something worth saving. All I can do is be honest and hope you see where I’m coming from. Irish, I’ve always seen you as a power woman. Strong, passionate, and capable of so much more than you realize. I’ve always admired that about you. You’re the kind of woman who is determined to always find a way to get what she wants and needs even when things get tough. I hope you continue to grow stronger in this chaotic world, carrying your dreams on the side and never letting anyone be a hindrance to your light. You have so much ahead of you, and you deserve to walk toward it freely, bravely, and with your head held high. You’re graduating soon, and I’m so damn proud of you for everything you’ve achieved, survived, and become. I hope you enjoyed your retreat and found calm, even just for a moment to take a break from everything, and a little time to reflect on the past few years you have become. You deserve that kind of peace. You deserve nothing less than peace, love, and the kind of life that matches the warmth of your favorite hue of orange. I hope, when you read this during your retreat, you remember the friendship that bloomed in late-night chikas, laughter, and shared silence, that maybe you’ll still see me as your homie. Whatever happens after this, I’ll still be rooting for you always. With much love, Vet 🧡

I don’t know why but I always think of you until this time. Wish I could erase you from my mind really soon.

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Hey you, There’s so much I’ve wanted to say, and I’ve kept most of it quiet—not because it wasn’t real, but because I didn’t know if I was allowed to feel it. Or maybe because I knew the answer already, deep down, and I just wasn’t ready to face it. You see, I liked you. Maybe more than I should have. I found myself hoping that maybe you’d see me—not just as a friend, not just as someone you talk to at night, or game with, or laugh with—but as someone you could love. And maybe that was unfair of me. To place hope in something you never promised. But feelings don’t always ask for permission before they arrive. I think I knew all along who you really are. And I wanted to support that. I still do. I want you to live in your truth and shine in it—loudly, confidently, and fully. But it hurts. It hurts because the more I accept your truth, the more I understand that I might not be a part of it in the way I hoped. And that’s okay. It really is. Even if it doesn’t feel okay right now. So this is me, letting go. Not of you—not of our friendship, not of the laughter, not of the connection—but of the version of the story where I was the one. I’m choosing to breathe again. To feel everything without drowning in it. To keep what we have in the light, not through the lens of longing. You are still someone I care for deeply. But from now on, I’ll love you with open hands, not clenched fists. And that’s enough. —Me

It’s been months, but somehow, it still feels like yesterday. I thought I’d finally moved on, that time would eventually wash away what I felt for you — but every now and then, I still catch myself missing you in ways I can’t explain. It’s in the quiet moments, in the songs we used to listen to, in the random memories that suddenly come back without warning. I’ve met people, laughed, tried to fill the empty spaces you left behind, but no matter what I do, it’s still different when it’s you. Iba pa rin kapag ikaw. You were more than just someone I loved — you were home for a while, and maybe a part of me will always long for that feeling again. I don’t expect anything from this, I just needed to let it out — that after all this time, it’s still you who crosses my mind when I least expect it.

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imy

I ain’t risking myself, gotta keep it lowkey 😋

I JUST WISH YOU WERE A BETTER MAN

hello:)

hello:)

‎Hi ris my bebi, ‎ ‎I want you to know my sincerity. I want you to know that I have feelings. I'm not infatuated anymore; I've realized that I truly love you. ‎ ‎I don't know why I feel this way, but it hurts me when you get hurt, and I don't want you to feel that way. ‎ ‎I've had feelings for you for a long time, and I'm telling you this not to confuse you but to express my warm and honest feelings for you, because I want you to know my true feelings. I just want to dedicate this message for you because you're very special to me. ‎ ‎I don't know, but every time I talk to you, all my doubts and thoughts about myself disappear. You make me braver, a better version of myself. You built me up piece by piece, and I'm incredibly thankful for that. ‎ ‎For me, I couldn't bear to lose you, not because I need you, but because I love you and want to see you happy. I'll always be here for you, and I won't go anywhere. ‎ ‎ I'll always understand and take care of you because I want you to be okay. I'm really thankful to God for bringing you in my life. ‎ ‎Meeting you was the best thing in my life, you make me feel that i'm important too and a worthy person. I'll always be here for you as well, thankyou for everything that you made, thankyou for your small efforts and time. ‎ ‎You are the most wonderful and amazing person i've ever met, palagi akong andito para sayo anytime, palagi mokong napapasaya sa lahat ng bagay, at ayokong mawala ka sakin,  imissyousomuch baby. ‎ ‎palagi mong mong tatandaan na meron kang ako palagi. ‎

‎Hi ris my bebi, ‎ ‎I want you to know my sincerity. I want you to know that I have feelings. I'm not infatuated anymore; I've realized that I truly love you. ‎ ‎I don't know why I feel this way, but it hurts me when you get hurt, and I don't want you to feel that way. ‎ ‎I've had feelings for you for a long time, and I'm telling you this not to confuse you, because I want you to know my true feelings. I just want to dedicate this message for you because you're very special to me. ‎ ‎I don't know, but every time I talk to you, all my doubts and thoughts about myself disappear. You make me braver, a better version of myself. You built me up piece by piece, and I'm incredibly thankful for that. ‎ ‎For me, I couldn't bear to lose you, not because I need you, but because I love you and want to see you happy. I'll always be here for you, and I won't go anywhere. ‎ ‎ I'll always understand and take care of you because I want you to be okay. I'm really thankful to God for bringing you in my life. ‎ ‎Meeting you was the best thing in my life, you make me feel that i'm important too and a worthy person. I'll always be here for you as well, thankyou for everything that you made, thankyou for your small efforts and time. ‎ ‎You are the most wonderful and amazing person i've ever met, palagi akong andito para sayo anytime, palagi mokong napapasaya sa lahat ng bagay, at ayokong mawala ka sakin,  imissyousomuch baby. ‎ ‎palagi mong mong tatandaan na meron kang ako palagi. ‎

‎Hi ris my bebi, ‎ ‎I want you to know my sincerity. I want you to know that I have feelings. I'm not infatuated anymore; I've realized that I truly love you. ‎ ‎I don't know why I feel this way, but it hurts me when you get hurt, and I don't want you to feel that way. ‎ ‎I have feelings for you for a long time, and I'm telling you this not to confuse you but to express my warm and honest feelings for you, but because I want you to know my true feelings. I just want to dedicate this message for you because you're very special to me. ‎ ‎I don't know, but every time I talk to you, all my doubts and thoughts about myself disappear. You make me braver, a better version of myself. You built me up piece by piece, and I'm incredibly thankful for that. ‎ ‎For me, I couldn't bear to lose you, not because I need you, but because I love you and want to see you happy. I'll always be here for you, and I won't go anywhere. ‎ ‎ I'll always understand and take care of you because I want you to be okay. I'm really thankful to God for bringing you in my life. ‎ ‎Meeting you was the best thing in my life, you make me feel that i'm important too and a worthy person. I'll always be here for you as well, thankyou for everything that you made, thankyou for your small efforts and time. ‎ ‎You are the most wonderful and amazing person i've ever met, palagi akong andito para sayo anytime, palagi mokong napapasaya sa lahat ng bagay, at ayokong mawala ka sakin,  imissyousomuch baby. ‎ ‎palagi mong mong tatandaan na meron kang ako palagi. ‎

‎Hi ris my bebi, ‎ ‎I want you to know my sincerity. I want you to know that I have feelings. I'm not infatuated anymore; I've realized that I truly love you. ‎ ‎I don't know why I feel this way, but it hurts me when you get hurt, and I don't want you to feel that way. ‎ ‎I've had feelings for you for a long time, and I'm telling you this not to confuse you, but because I want you to know my true feelings. I just want to dedicate this message for you because you're very special to me. ‎ ‎I don't know, but every time I talk to you, all my doubts and thoughts about myself disappear. You make me braver, a better version of myself. You built me up piece by piece, and I'm incredibly thankful for that. ‎ ‎For me, I couldn't bear to lose you, not because I need you, but because I love you and want to see you happy. I'll always be here for you, and I won't go anywhere. ‎ ‎ I'll always understand and take care of you because I want you to be okay. I'm really thankful to God for bringing you in my life. ‎ ‎Meeting you was the best thing in my life, you make me feel that i'm important too and a worthy person. I'll always be here for you as well, thankyou for everything that you made, thankyou for your small efforts and time. ‎ ‎You are the most wonderful and amazing person i've ever met, palagi akong andito para sayo anytime, palagi mokong napapasaya sa lahat ng bagay, at ayokong mawala ka sakin,  imissyousomuch baby. ‎ ‎palagi mong mong tatandaan na meron kang ako palagi. ‎

‎Hi ris my bebi, ‎ ‎I want you to know my sincerity. I want you to know that I have feelings. I'm not infatuated anymore; I've realized that I truly love you. ‎ ‎I don't know why I feel this way, but it hurts me when you get hurt, and I don't want you to feel that way. ‎ ‎I've had feelings for you for a long time, and I'm telling you this not to confuse you, but because I want you to know my true feelings. i just want to dedicate this message for you because you're very special to me. ‎ ‎Meeting you was the best thing in my life, you make me feel that i'm important to and a worthy person. I'll always be here for you as well, thankyou for everything that you made, thankyou for your small efforts and time, ‎ ‎ ‎You are the most wonderful and amazing person i've ever met, palagi akong andito para sayo anytime, palagi mokong napapasaya sa lahat ng bagay, at ayokong mawala ka sakin, imissyousomuch baby, palagi mong tatandaan na meron kang ako palagi.

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