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I miss him so much. I replay our videos, look at our pictures, and scroll through our old conversations, and all I can see is how he once healed me and how happy I am. I didn’t expect it from him, and he didn’t expect it either; it just happened naturally. He was my best friend, and before we even fell in love, he already knew my pain. He knew the scars, the hurt, and the broken parts of me, and still, he stayed. That’s how my feelings grew, and eventually, we became something more special. He was the one person I trusted with everything. I gave him the parts of me no one else could carry, and he made me feel loved, safe, and seen. With him, I was happy in ways I never thought I’d feel again. He healed me without even trying, and that’s what made me love him more. But now? I’m here again, drowning in the same pain I thought I escaped, only worse. Because the person who healed me is the one who broke me. He hurt me, and even though I know he was hurting too, he never did anything to change it. He didn’t fight for us. At first, he told me he loved me, that he wouldn’t hurt me again, and that he wouldn’t let me go. But in the end, all he said was that he tried to love me, but his heart was numb. And the most painful part? Right now, he’s acting like nothing happened. Like he’s not hurt at all. Like losing us didn’t break him the way it broke me. And it makes me question, did he even hurt the way I did? Or was everything we had, what we were, our friendship, and our something special just nothing to him? Or was I the only one carrying the weight of what we had while he was carrying nothing at all? We even promised each other that no matter what, we’d take the risk, and if things didn’t work out, our friendship would remain. But looking at how he is now, like it meant nothing, I can’t hold on to that promise anymore. He said he still wants us to be friends, but how can I stay friends with someone who hurt me like this? I can’t. That’s why I chose to cut off everything, to distance myself from him and everyone connected to him. Because being friends with the person who broke me isn’t strength; it’s torture. And that’s the cruellest part. My best friend, the one who healed me, the one I trusted more than anyone else, is now the same person who left me broken in ways I never thought I could break. He didn’t just hurt me; he destroyed the one place I thought was safe.

this has always been dedicated to u jsyk

To my dear Niggiee, you know I still love you but I have to let you go. Please when you find somebody new, take care of her, don’t let her feel what I felt. Be different to her, please. I still love you, I still do. Please take care. Love, Jicious🤕

I love you always and in all ways, baby.

thanks for being my lifesaver and for all your love. I love you so much.❤️

You said this was your childhood song , I get goosebumps or replays of you when this plays.

I wish you knew that I actually used to like you but that was in summer, things are different now I still think of you. But do you think of me?

I dont wish you peace

Jem, i miss you so so so much :(

i love you so much my greatest love (angel jade)

i know you love grentperez i did too but you ruined it for me i’ll always miss u and our inside jokes if this finds you, “arlo” i miss u, but ur disrespect was the closure

its for the better it was for the better that things ended the way they did it was for the better know it’s for the better but i still miss us not you us

maybe, in another universe, i was brave enough to confess my feelings. may the stars always shine bright for you.

um

I’m finally over you bb. I still wish you the best

crazy how it all comes down to this, huh? just friends. after everything we shared, all the pieces of our lives tangled up, it feels unreal to go back like none of it happened. i keep seeing us on your bike, your laugh cutting through the wind while i held on, thinking nothing could touch us. you gave me a version of high school that felt like magic instead of misery, and i’ll never forget that. i let myself picture us years from now — a life together, kids running around, a future that felt so certain back then. but maybe certainty was the lie. maybe the universe decided we weren’t meant to last, no matter how much i wanted us to. you were the right person, but not at the right time. and now i’m left holding memories that don’t know where to go.

I chose butter because even though neither of us like kpop, you always said “oh butters” it stuck-like butter.. I miss you

missing u again