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i love you. im never gonna be brave enough to admit that to you given our circumstances rn, but if it is God's will indeed, I promise I'll say it to you out loud and face front. you're my first love, and I know I'll have a very very hard time moving on from you if you get the chance to meet someone new there. but if you do, I promise--I know I'll always be subconsciously waiting and hoping. Hoping for us, and waiting for the right time--if God permits. I miss you.

You may not know but you inspire me to live well in many ways. I don't think I'll ever be brave enough to tell you that, and I guess you'll never know how I really feel about you. So what's the point of writing letters I'd never send? You might see this and wonder who it's for and whom it's from, which is such a pity, because what's the point of writing someone a letter if they won't know it's for them? Bottling up one's feelings makes one restless, perhaps that's why a simple act of writing feels like salvation. When one has been drowned in the water for long, they become so desperate for air that the slightest ounce of oxygen feels like deliverance. Writing for someone is an act of love but not sending it is a foolish act. I am foolish for holding you dear only in my prayers, deep in my heart even when you're just within my reach. I just hope that when the time right and with the right grace, I 'd actually be able to know you firsthand and hold you in my arms. In Him, I'll try to trust. I'll believe in that one elusive God who promises puhon. "When the time is right, I the Lord, will make it happen." Isaiah 60:22

i’ll love you. always.

a letter i’ll never send hi, i don’t even know where to start. i’ve written and erased this in my head so many times. i’m trying to find the right words to explain everything i felt. maybe it’s not even about explaining anymore. maybe it’s just about finally letting it all out. i loved you. not the kind of love that’s fleeting, but the kind that stays up at night thinking about ur peace, ur comfort, ur little habits. i loved you even when i didn’t feel loved back the same way. i stayed when i felt unseen, unheard, and misunderstood —hoping maybe one day u’d look at me and finally see how much i was trying. i tried to be patient, to understand, to adjust. i told myself that if i just love you right, u’ll learn to love me better too. but, i forgot love shouldn’t be something i have to prove. i didn’t need u to be perfect. i just wanted to feel safe, to feel chosen, to feel like i mattered. and it hurts because i believed in us. i believed in what we could be if we both met halfway. u said u wanted me, but u never made me feel wanted again. u said u didn’t understand me, but all i ever needed was for u to try. u thought i was arguing, but i was only asking to be understood. on my birthday, when i felt invisible beside u, that’s when something inside me quietly broke. i tried to hold it in, tried to smile through it, but all i wanted that day was to feel special — not from the gifts, but from ur eyes, ur effort, ur love. u couldn’t see that and maybe that’s where we lost each other. u stopped seeing me, and i kept trying to be seen. being with u — in ur arms, in ur hugs — felt like home. i still long for that every night. i could only fall asleep peacefully beside u and yk that. u were my safe space, my comfort, my home. now, idk where to find that same peace. i’ve been losing sleep for weeks, even with sleeping pills and therapy. the truth is, i miss the version of myself that felt safe beside u. before we ended, i even told u i wanted to sleep beside u again. i was scared of my own thoughts and nightmares. but, that comfort isn’t there anymore, u are not here anymore, and it breaks me to accept that. i still think about u, about us. i still cry sometimes because part of me wishes u’d just understood me, because i would’ve stayed. i would’ve fought harder if i knew u were fighting too. but u weren’t. and i can’t carry the both of us anymore. so this is me, finally trying to go, not because i stopped loving you, but because i’ve learned that love shouldn’t hurt this much to keep. maybe one day u’ll look back and realize what i was trying to give u. maybe u’ll understand what i meant when i said i needed partnership, not silence. maybe u’ll treat someone better because of what we went through. and if that happens, i’ll be okay with that. even if it’s unfair, i know my love changed something in u, and in me. i’m learning to choose peace now and even tho it hurts, i’m proud of myself for walking away from something that no longer wants me. u’ll always be part of my story. but not my ending. i love you very very very much, my marcopolo. i wish i could say this to u but i know i shouldn’t. i hope my absence brings u the peace that my presence couldn’t. from the bottom of my heart, i want u to be happy and successful even without me. te amo, to the moon and back.

awak cinta yang saya tak pernah sangka, tapi Tuhan bagi. Tuhan bagi tepat pada masa yang saya paling perlukan. saya janji, selagi saya diberi peluang, saya akan cintai awak semampunya. terima kasih sebab masih ada untuk saya. bukan cuma waktu saya senang, tapi waktu saya susah juga. awak sentiasa bagi ruang yang selamat untuk saya setiap kali dunia saya serabut dan penuh luka. saya sayangkan awak, hingga habis nyawa saya ❤️ selamat hari lahir yang ke-24 cinta hati saya ❤️

i miss you ai, i still love you, balik na nko please 10-20-22

uhh hi, i just want you to know that you’re my exception.

tayo nalang ulit please. i promise i’ll be good. i cant live without you

tayo nalang ulit please. i promise i’ll be good. i cant live without you

tayo nalang ulit please. i promise i’ll be good. i cant live without you

tayo nalang ulit please. i promise i’ll be good. i cant live without you

Hejdhs

hi baby, alam kong sinabi ko na tama na at ayoko na, pero hindi ko naman magawang mag move-on😣. I can’t unlove you mylove. I really miss you so much. Magkasama pala kayo ni hen dun sa md mo, pero baka bumisita lang din, sana di nagbalikan charet hahaha. I hope you’re doing well. I love you

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I miss you

I still think about you yk

Hi

hai assalamualaikum zaii. how was your day ? rindu sangat nak gelak sama sama. nak chat kau, aku takut nampak beria. sakitnya mencintai orang dalam diam. aku doakan kau sihat selalu okey ? semoga dipermudhkn urusan kau. aku always dekat sini. aku tunggu kau 🫠. zai, tbh im in love with you, sorry.