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i hate how much i like u

I’m tired—not because I’m angry, but because I spent so long trying to understand, adjust, and carry the pain. I asked for respect and boundaries, and I never truly felt them. So this time, I’m choosing myself. This isn’t coming from anger, but from self-respect.

hai 8g luvyu from sipa 26 01

@vvᥱІαα.: haloo gantengkuuu, sekarang hari apayaaa OHH IYAAAAA HARI ULANG TAUN NYA PACARKU YAAA? hbd sayangkuuu, cintakuu, gantengkuuu, sekarang perasaan kamu seneng gasiii karna suda *umur dia* dan yang pasti umurnya sudaaa nambah 1 taun dan tambah lebih tuaaa. sayangkuu, dihari ulang taun kamu inii, kamu berdoa banyak banyak yyaa? aku juga selalu do'ain kamu disini, berdoa agar kamuu lebih lagi, lebih dewasa lagi, dan bahagiaaa lagi, sayangku ini harus panjang umur, sehat sehat dan jangann kecapean oke?, yang intinya wish you all the best my wold.. jangan lupa buat senyum di hari ulang tahun kamu inii, jangan sedih sedih loh yaaa?, jujur akuu bahagia bangettt karna kamuuu sudaaa semakin tuaaa dan tentunya pemikiran dan hati kamu harus lebih dewasa dan harus ngerti tu mana yangg baik dan nggaa, jangan sampe pacarku terpengaruh sama yang hal hal gabaik pokonyaaaa. terusss terusss aku mau bilang makasiii smaa pacarku karna sudaa bertahan sejauh ini, pacar ciiii? koo hebatt i'm proud of youu gantengkuuu yeyyy yeyy tepuk tangannn, terus makasiii jugaaa yaaa udaaa masiii mau sama aku yang cengeng abiez (tapi boong), gaperna bm (jelazzzz) yang intinya gaperna buat pacarku cape dee, kedepannya aku bakalan perbaiki koooo, tapi pelan pelann yaaa? kita improve diri masing masingggg untuk menjadi lebih lebih lebih baik lagiii. *POKONYAAAAA HAPPY BIRTHDAY SAYANGKU CINTAKUUUU GANTENGKUUU *

hai

lovee, mag s-seven months na tayo and I know this is ur fav song mahal na mahal kita and I hope mag tagal pa tayo june 22? yesss yess yesss it’s me ingattt ka palagi ha!! Galingan mo sa mga laban mo im always here to support you I know ur doing ur best and sapat nayun mahal na mahal kita tantan.

Hii loveee, yesss it’s me leaniee I love you so muchh. I didn’t know what I would do if I lose you.

I know I wasted so much love, effort that you gave me, I didn't mean to, but that day was really heavy, and I was wrong not to tell you even though I knew you were ready to listen to me, I appreciated you so much but not because at that time I chose not to talk to anyone, i fuckinf hate myself from having an avoidant attachment na hindi ko manlang napigilan kahit sa tao na willing akong itrato ng tama. but even though I stopped what we had, my love for you is still here. nung nalaman kong may iba na, mashaket sya pero tanggap ko kasi kasalanan ko naman. but lagi mong tandaan im always here aantayin kita, if the universe gave us a chance to comeback with eachother why not? but kung ano man ung decision mo rn i accept it, i'd rather see you happy w someone else than suffer or struggle when youre with me.

Hii love ko!! I just want to say na our rs getting toxic we have no reply and im always updating so I check your acc but still offline so i hope you eat perfect time wag mag pa lasing ha ily love ko☹️💞

When I heard this song it brought tears to my eyes because it says exactly how I feel about you Amy. If I could live this life over and over again I’d choose to spend it with you every time my love. I love you more than you will ever know! Happy Valentine’s Day sweetheart.

shsh

Looking back, I never imagined us apart. I really thought we would be together when we start off college, and as we end our first year in it, even until we graduate and become have a career of our own. You know, before you came into my life, I was sure nobody in the entirety of this planet would ever love me. I was so damn sure I'd be getting old alone. Hence why I never had a vision of myself in the future living a thriving life with a family I would be able to call my own. I lived a lonely life before you. But, when you came, my life did turn around. I had someone and something to look forward everyday. I was in my lowest point when you happened to me. You gave me hope to live. You made me want to live. And, for once, in the 16 years of my existence then, I felt like I actually weigh in this world. I felt loved. And it was unlike any love I have been told I have been receiving. The love you gave me was something that felt like it actually came from your heart, and not just because it was something that was obligatory for you to give. I didn't just live for myself. I lived for you, too. I have so much more to say, but, I don't think it'd matter. You won't see this anyway. Funny. It's funny how I said I won't reach out anymore, but I'm doing things impossible for you to see but then hoping you'd see anyway. I miss you, mako. Miss na miss na kita. I miss my best friend, I miss you. I hope you're well and happy. I love you so much. I hope you know that. I hope you're in a good place right now, and I wish that you'll always be happy. I'm sorry for everything. I love you. I love myself enough to not reach out to you again and come back. But, I love you even more to still wait for you, and have my arms wide open if you ever change your mind and decide to come back to me. Mahal na mahal kita. Always and forever, mako.

Hi, mahal! I have no courage to tell you this directly. Swerte mo if makikita mo ‘to and if not, okay lang. I just want to express what I feel. I’ve read your message sa tt, I didn’t dare make a single move nor reply. It hurts me, of course. But it made me realized na that was all you ever wanted—for us to end. I am happy, sad, confused, mad, hindi ko maipinta kung ano yung mararamdaman ko. There are times na umiiyak ako just because I remembered how we were back then, hahahha it’s kinda funny to think, yk. I miss it, I miss you, mahal. There’s this ache feeling sa heart ko everytime I thought about you. I was just used to the feeling of having you around me, caring for me, always hatid sundo me, always buying me kwek kwek HAHAHAH. Wala na pala mag rrequest sayo nyan lol. Sana maalala mo ako sa kwek kwek, kidding HEHE. (shits making me tear up). Anyways, I don’t wanna show you how vulnerable I am, kahit lagi mo naman ako nakikitang umiiyak but not this time. Mahal kita, kiel,, and you will always have a special place to my heart. Wala eh, may mga taong aalis at mag sstay. But I don’t regret what we had, I knew deep down that it was all real.. So genuine… I badly want to hug you, even for the last time. Hindi ko naman aakalain na huling pagsasama na natin yon, after school HAHA. I should’ve hugged you tight that night. I will forever cherish our memories.. Mahal na mahal kita, higit pa sa salitang sobra, Kiell. You were my everything and I wish you nothing but best:> I loved you, for the last time. -ursillybby

hey, i’m sorry for how i acted these past few days. it’s not your fault my brain’s wired to think like that in the slightest bit of change. when i recognize patterns, they trigger something in me—the trigger to flee. to avoid people, to cut people off completely. i can say that during those days that i acted like that, i was trying to detach myself from you, kasi i wanted to make cutting you off easier. it was easier for me to cut you off that to tell you how i feel, kasi i feel like it’s very petty. the reason i have is very petty, and i think that you wouldn’t really understand where i’m coming from. where i’m coming from—it’s something you’d only understand if i tell you everything about me. and i don’t want to, because it’s tiring. it’s troublesome. all that for someone you just met this sy. i feel like i’d be trauma dumping if i did, and i didn’t want to put you through that situation. and i know i should work on it, and believe me, i’m trying my very best. i just can’t. i’m still trying, though. though i think my efforts are not enough lately to put my mind at ease. what your ambiguous actions cannot express, my thoughts will fill in. kahit siguro para sa inyo, wala lang ‘yon, sa ‘kin may meaning. i’m sensitive and i’m hyper-aware of every word or action you say or do towards me. and maybe that’s actually the thing. maybe i’m just too sensitive. maybe we’re not on the same emotional wavelength. and maybe you shouldn’t be friends with someone who’s tiring, or hot and cold, or avoidant. maybe i have to sit this one out, on my own. bc i don’t want to drag you down with me. i know how tiring it can be to listen to me rant about my problems in life, all the trauma i’ve gone through from childhood ‘til this day. and i really don't want to cut you guys off. you were the people who made me feel like i finally belonged somewhere. i’ve mentioned time and time again na i’ve always been a floater friend, never really having a permanent place in someone's circle. kaya when i found you guys, i felt like i can finally just be me and not run away. pero maybe i’m wrong. maybe i was ahead of myself when i said that. maybe it was too early to say that. it’s because me. all me. my thoughts, my issues. i can see how you guys are reaching out to me, and i fail to fully accept it bc i let my thoughts take over. me and my thoughts. so, i’m detaching myself from you to make things easier.

THANKS FOR BEING A GOOD FRIENDD

HEHE THANK YOU FOR BEING A GOOD FRIENDDD

I think I’m going to accept the fact that you’ll never going to like me back. And that’s okay because life is never about always getting what you want. You were a wonderful experience for me but at the same time you were the reason why I went through something bad again after so long. I can’t blame you because that’s my fault and it’s not like it’s your responsibility to like me. You’re a great friend. Well, I wouldn’t really say that you’re great maybe you’re just like a good friend. The thing is, you brought happiness into my life at some point and that’s what matters. Thank you for giving me a spark at one point in my life but also taking back the spark from me. I tried to convince myself that maybe the reason why I like you is because I just think that way when I actually don’t have feelings for you. But then I kept on liking you so I got confused, whether I like you or not. Well I ended up liking you anyways and it hurt me once again. I kind of expected it so. I hope this would be the last time that I like you. I hope that I’ll never like you again in the future. Even if you like me, I don’t know if I should accept that.

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